Part 1: Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

Episode 9: Dr Marion Piper on Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

What Doesn't Kill Us by Dr Marion Piper | Oct 2022 | 17:52

Listen to this episode and you'll find out why. It kicks off a 5 part series exploring the posttraumatic growth (PTG) life areas. This first one, 'spiritual or existential change', is a DOOZY. It's that moment you realise that everything has changed. That YOU are changed – and NOTHING makes sense anymore. If you like this episode, you'll probably also dig my Substack newsletter called "The Creative Urge", which you can support at: https://thecreativeurge.substack.com/ ❤️ 

Transcript

0:01

What doesn't kill us.

Doesn't make us stronger, it makes us more creative.

Wait, how let's find out together.

I'm Dr. Marion Piper.

And I'm on a mission to uncover what it means to lead a truly creative life.

0:17

So if you're feeling uninspired blocked or just plain lost, welcome home.

Well, well, well how How good does that sound?

Hey, friends.

0:33

I know.

I know where have I been?

If you don't follow me on Instagram, you might be thinking.

Hey, how dare she, how dare, dr.

Myers leave me hanging for months.

I know I'm a bad podcaster, whoo.

0:50

But there's good reason, there's been a lot of change in my life and I've been exploring so many different things and I wanted to start by sharing a little Bit of my journey with you because what this episode is kicking off is a five-part series all around the post traumatic growth, five life areas, particularly about what they might sound and feel like because one of the things that I've been working through is how to translate this incredible body of knowledge that I have into something that's super practical for you, that you can use to fuel your work, your Creative Energy.

1:29

She and maybe make life feel a little bit less shitty when the shit hits the fan.

So I really want to share my recent experience with you as a digital Nomad because back in when was it I think it was in June that I made the decision after a few years frying away in the pandemic frying pan.

1:54

That was Melbourne that I really wanted to get out on the road.

Explore and stretch my legs and get some new input and I really wish I could tell you that it's changed my life and that I found a way of living that is conducive to my most creative self and gives me everything I need but I can't.

2:20

It is been oh my gosh, it has been a baptism of fire to say the least and what I want to talk to you about today is Particularly around the first domain of post-traumatic growth, which is spiritual or existential change and how that relates to Little T traumas.

2:41

And maybe some things that you can do if you are facing a similar sip, it's a similar situation to me right now.

Oh you can tell I haven't been on the mic for a while because my words are getting garbled.

But that's okay.

We will persevere.

So Let me give you a breakdown of where I've been.

3:00

I've been in Bali, I've been back in Melbourne, I've been in Perth Sydney, I've been house-sitting staying in hotels, every everywhere I've been everywhere.

I've Been Everywhere man.

And who'd a thunk that's so much change could be so effective as in a FF e CT on me as a human as a human who has Experienced traumatic events and I know I'm preaching to the choir.

3:31

When I say that change can be tricky.

Change can be a really beautiful thing that ushers in a new chapter of your life.

It can bring in new people experiences that you never thought you'd be able to have but it can also make you a little wobbly on your feet especially when it's a change that you've chosen.

3:56

And you have expectations about Out.

So I've been working towards this digital Nomad life for probably the last decade and I realized that I'd actually been living as a digital Nomad since the start of 2020.

Thanks to the pandemic.

So I thought that I had all my processes and systems in place.

4:14

I knew how to work from anywhere, but all I really did know how to do was work from home and when you don't have a home anymore, everything changes and everything is experienced in a different through a different lens.

Hands and it brings up different things and if you know me, you'll know how much I bang on about schema therapy, which if you haven't heard of it, Google it, because it's been a game changer for me, in trying to come to terms with my trauma and to figure out how I can become the healthy adult, but being on the road, with living as a, digital Nomad has really brought about quite the existential change.

4:56

And so I mentioned that this is the first domain.

Of post-traumatic growth and it's often times.

It sounds like when, you know, when you say out loud, nothing makes sense anymore.

Like why is this happening?

What is going on?

I feel so lost right, because when we experience something traumatic and I'm really going to be speaking to here, the little T traumas, which are the stuff that affect you on a really personal level?

5:20

They're things like, you know, moving countries, it's a breakup, a loss of a job like anything that's kind of significant to you on a personal.

Snow level where you can still function but it has activated you in a way that doesn't feel good that you are actually struggling to integrate this change because when we experience trauma our whole worldview Narrows and shatters at the same time it's really the marking point in like a like the line in the concrete that says you've changed.

5:53

You are not a different person right now and the reason why I'm talking about I want to talk about little tea.

Traumas.

Because in the research they found that over time.

Little T traumas can stack up to be more emotionally harmful than one big T trauma.

So, even if you haven't been through, you know, even if you haven't experienced the death of a loved one, if you haven't had experienced a life-threatening event, you chances are that you have experienced.

6:18

You have lost a job, maybe a friendship is broken down or a relationship, maybe you've moved.

Maybe you've I'm bullying or even any kind of emotional abuse.

And that's why I think it's really important that we shine a light on these on these little T, traumas, even something as simple as chronic stress.

6:40

Not a simple, but even something, as debilitating as chronic stress can be a little T trauma, that can be really damaging over time.

And so I feel like my experience of being a digital Nomad lately has been a series of Little T traumas from you know, getting feeling really, really isolated in Perth which activated my emotional deprivation, schema meaning I just couldn't give myself what I needed.

7:14

I couldn't give myself, you know, enough attention or enough.

I couldn't see myself in a way that was very productive.

I found myself dipping back into Old familiar feelings.

It's of of I don't matter.

7:31

Why is this happening to me?

You know, maybe this is just the way it is, instead of leaning on all the beautiful knowledge that they have around, how to, how to grow after a challenging circumstance.

I haven't really been asking the question of, how do I get out of this?

7:49

Because, you know, life isn't meant to always be like this and it's not going to stay the same.

You know, and I think that when things change, we have a tendency to cling to the past, to cling to what's familiar, which robs us of the opportunity to welcome in, what's waiting for us on the other side of the integration of this change.

8:13

And so you know, I've traveled the world so many times.

I've lived overseas a bunch but right now this this iteration of being a digital Nomad is not good.

It doesn't feel good.

And the reason why I'm sharing this is because I don't want you to, I don't want you to believe the Instagram hype.

8:34

You know, I've had also many motor moments of Awesomeness happen in this trip.

Particularly when I was in Bali, but the last month last two months have just been a baptism of fire and I've really felt challenged in so many ways to question what I value to question what I prioritize and I you know I have Spent moments of unpacking this with my therapist where what I realized is that I don't need to question myself but something has changed.

9:08

I've changed.

I'm not the same person.

I was before the pandemic and really right now we're starting to see some of the the byproducts of that experience show.

Show, show up and manifest in so many different ways.

From things, like social anxiety, to Fogo like the fear of going.

9:28

Out to try and use the same coping strategies that we've been using the whole time but now maybe they're not working.

So when we talk about, when I talk about this first domain of post-traumatic growth, it's really that first opportunity to kick start that process of growth to have.

9:47

It be something that allows you to spiral up wink.

Wink, not down.

So if you're in a position right now where Nothing is making sense anymore, maybe some of the activities you've been doing, maybe even your creative practice isn't hitting the mark for you.

10:06

I want you to know that it's okay.

I want, you know, to know that it's not going to be like this forever, but we need to acknowledge where we're at, which is often the most painful part.

But I would like to invite you to take this as an opportunity to get curious, but to do it in a way that's going to give you space.

10:25

In time, like you don't have to sit down after listening to this podcast, dive into your journal and unpack everything, right?

But it's really about developing a little bit more presence and the ability to pay attention to what's happening inside of you.

10:42

As you are moving through your day-to-day and the things that don't feel good are there, to give you an opportunity to figure out what needs to change.

And that's This first domain is really all about, it's about recognizing where you're at and acknowledging that things are different now, which, you know, we hear, we have this conversation of The New Normal, and I'm put it in inverted commas, because Normal is a myth anyway, but we haven't even really acknowledged what's been going on.

11:15

You know, I think on a broader scale, there's been this real push to get back to the way things, were or two to recoup a sense of normalcy, but I I don't know, I'm kind of a of the mind that maybe that's not what we need right now.

Maybe.

11:31

What we need is to live into some questions rather than looking for answers.

And so if yeah, if you're, if you're like me and you've either, you know, you've defaulted back to what you were doing before, and you're a little bit anxious to get out of the house and to resume life or you've done the opposite, the pendulum swung, the other way and you've blown up your life and maybe you're doing Completely different know that the experience of these two things can often feel feel the similar and that there's nothing wrong with you, for your reaction, to what's been happening.

12:06

We are human at the end of the day and we are by Nature designed to connect designed to be social, but also designed to protect ourselves.

Our brains are doing what it, what, they know best based on our past experience using that as a guide to keep Us safe.

12:26

So for me, blowing up, my life has in various stages of my life saved me, so that's my default behavior when shit goes down.

But for you it might be more retreating and doubling down on the things that are familiar and the people that are familiar and the spaces that you trust.

12:46

So this is where creativity can either feel like a warm hug or a slap in the face.

Depending on where Practice suits in your life, right?

Is it something that you use to escape reality?

13:02

Or is it something that you use to explore reality and an Express your position within it?

Right.

So this is an opportunity we're in a really rare in a really rich time right now, as we start to navigate our way, out of the pandemic to really redefine, what matters to us.

13:25

Us and to lean into what's changed.

You know, and maybe as a result of everything that you've been through lately, maybe the question isn't what's changed?

Maybe the question is what still needs to be changed?

You know, and this is where you can get creative.

13:42

This is where you can start to look at all the different pieces of the puzzle in front of you, and instead of just piecing them back together in the way that everybody says they should be pieced back together.

Maybe, maybe this is your time.

I'm to look at different ways to bring things together to experiment with different combinations of of your of your life.

14:04

Of the things that make up the life that you want to lead going into the future, not the one that you've been leading up until this point, right?

And this is what I mean by talking about exploring what it, what it means to lead a truly creative life, meaning that we place creativity Above All Else as as a way to as a Filter through through which to look at the world.

14:29

Who?

Yeah.

That feels good.

That felt good to say out loud.

Are you with me on this one?

Because I don't know about you.

I just can't, I don't think I can handle any more Direction.

I don't want anybody at the moment to tell me what to do or to tell me how to think, I want to be invited to figure this out, on my own to learn how to trust my experience to look, At my past, as a reference book, not as a death sentence, right?

15:01

And I think that's what happens when we when we go through something traumatic.

It has the potential to Define us moving forward.

When really, it can become a springboard or a catapult to push us forward rather than hold us back.

15:17

So if I were to give you an invitation right now, I think it would be too.

Really lean into your curiosity to not so much.

Try to Define things right now.

15:33

But rather to start collecting the options, collecting the evidence, researching things, looking for things that that light you up that make you feel good and you know having a bit of self-compassion.

If they aren't the things that used to make you feel good, I think you know, it's really easy to be hard on ourselves after We've been through something difficult because there's been that pressure to survive and particularly in the digital landscape.

16:04

There's been this threat, this pressure to always be on to, always be sharing to always be open which, you know, I think there are so many beautiful things about that, but when we are trying to reassemble our internal world that can be really dangerous.

16:20

So I invite you to look at everything right now through the lens of What can I make of this rather than what has this made of me, right?

We want to open things up.

So, that is my first little Soiree into the first life area of post-traumatic growth, which is spiritual, or existential change.

16:43

And yeah, as I said at the start, this is going to be part of a, just a short five part series, exploring these life areas because I want to talk about them.

Some more as I think that the post-traumatic framework is such a beautiful blueprint.

Living a creative life and I got to get this stuff out of my head, otherwise I'm going to go Bonkers.

17:04

I also have if you want to connect some more, here's some more random thoughts of mine.

I also have a sub stack newsletter, called the creative urge, which you can find, and it's to subscribe to for free on my website.

And I can't wait to be a little bit more consistent with these podcasts.

17:22

And for us, to continue this creative, Ation into the years to come.

So thanks for sticking with me and if we haven't met yet, I can't wait to get to know you and yeah, let's just get curious.

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